I’m going through a very strange time in my life. A lot of ups and downs lately. I suppose it’s called growing and adapting to the myriad of shit life can throw at you. But to be honest, I was ok with my boring - stable - un-eventful life. Wait, who am I kidding - those words have never described MY life. But they seem to be fitting with all the strange, chaotic stuff that has happened to me as of late.

I don’t deal with change very well, and I’m not good at letting go of things. I tend to dwell. And dwelling never helps when you want and NEED to move on from things.

Being yelled at by someone I care about gave me the kick in the ass I needed the other day. It came as quite a shock to me. Everyone in my life does their best to sympathize and listen to me when I’m bitching about retarded stuff. I tend to worry over nothing, I know it. It’s just me. And if I want to bitch about it, and someone does not want to listen, then fine. That’s the point where I usually just turn to someone else who is willing to listen and coddle me during my rant. But this time, because I value this person so much - and I know without a doubt that he cares for me - I stopped and listened. And it actually did me a whole lot of good.

I’m not going to sit here and let myself deteriorate under anxiety. I’m going through a bit of a “cleansing” process, I guess you could say. It’s time to move forward with all things in my life and not look back. What good does living in the past do?

Nope, none. Sometimes you have to give up on trying to fix all the things you’ve done wrong - or have been done wrong TO you, and just move forward. Keep moving, don’t stop, don’t look back and don’t dwell.

2 Comments »

December 12th, 2005 Sara Says:

I have a friend that I’ve had to say the same things to. It is hard to let go and just focus on the positives, but it is important to do so.

I’m glad you got that kick in the ass that you needed. It’s always good to have friend who are willing to let you know you are f’d up at all the right moments. and im being serious. Sometimes we can get lost in ourselves so easily that we lose sight of everything else.

December 22nd, 2005 Hawk Says:

All I can say is GO YOU.

It takes strength of character for a person to see their weaknesses with the clarity that you do, and to confront them with honesty in order to deal with them.

You’ll go places…

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