My step-sister and her family are going through some really hard times right now and I just want to encourage everyone not to wait until it’s too late to make things right with the people you care about. Her father was recently involved in a serious (not yet fatal) accident when he fell into fire during a freak accident weedwacking his yard. He has burns on virtually all of his body and is probably going to lose his leg. He has been in a coma for almost all of the past 2 weeks and this has been rough on everyone in the family (obviously). The part that hits home for me is that my step-sister doesn’t have the best relationship with her father, and hasn’t for the past 10 years or so. Now she is a huge ball of chaos inside and struggling through all the emotions of needing to clear the air and make things right. Not easy to do when he’s not responding. And not a peaceful thought when she may never get the chance to say the things she needs to.

I’m not in a dis-similar situation myself with my father. We’ve had a very strange relationship - ranging from non-existent for the 24 years he was married to my mother - to oddly close when they split up - back to half-ass uncomfortableness - being nice on the outside - but not making much effort - situation that we find ourselves in now. It’s one of the things I fear the most - getting that phone call that something has happened to him. On one hand, I’m not sure I have ANY feelings towards my Dad and sometimes my anger takes over and I could care less. He was never there for me, even when it was clear I needed him. On the other hand, he’s still my father and there were odd times when he depended on me and I was everything to him. Even if it was only momentary, I still remember those times and know what his is capable of. So it’s hard to completely let go and detatch myself. So there is unfinished business for sure, and I really need to step up and start making an effort towards resolving some of my issues.

Like the unfortunate situation Carla is in, I don’t want to regret anything and with I had repaired things when I had the chance. The scars won’t heal completely, but maybe I can pull some of these clouds off my heart towards him and be a little more at peace with myself and my past.

Everyone please keep my step-sister and her father in your thoughts. She can use all the positive energy she can get.

And don’t wait until tomorrow to do something you can do today. How cliche, but true.

Is it even worth posting about? Probably not. I notice myself being less and less interested in these award shows as I get older. Are my tastes really changing that much? Or maybe I’m just matured to the point where their “crazy” (stupid) antics just don’t really amuse me anymore. Me matured? Wow, that’s a scary thought. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still read my US Weekly and see what’s going on, who’s wearing what, etc. But these award shows are just so bland and lame. I’m boycotting.

And the music performers they have? What’s up with that? MTV use to be famous for having new, cutting-edge acts with crazy stage performances. Wolfmother??? Who the eff is that? They were talking to them like they were the biggest thing right now. I’ve never even heard of them?? Either MTV is slipping, or I’m just getting really old and not keeping up with things. I would like to think it’s the first.

Good to Zach Braff, Wil Ferrell is hilareous as always, Jim Carrey is a classic and will be a comedic legend, great to see Gnarls Barkley getting some recognition (not sure about the whole Star Wars theme?!?), Christina Aguliera has a great voice but I can’t stand to look at her. (what happened there?), I don’t mind AFI, but they sucked big-time last night, Colin Ferrell has the sexiest accent EVER and Jessica Alba was the most boring presenter I’ve ever seen.

There’s my recap, take it or leave it. I’d rather leave it. Good thing I was only 1/2 paying attention last night, I don’t feel like I completely wasted my time.

I suck, I really need to post more. I’ve been busy with life and school, writing papers and essays, working on websites non-stop, trying to exercise and eat healthy.. All the while making time for Jae and spending time with Tyler.. It leaves virtually no time for anything. But I have a lot of things to say so I feel some posts coming in the near future.